The week of the wedgie

Wedgie: The condition of having one's clothing stuck between the buttocks, often from having had one's pants or underwear pulled up as a prank.

--dictionary.com

Well, we went to Cheekwood, the local botanical garden this weekend. Annually, they have some major event where area architects put something up to draw in new visitors. This year, the event was Maze Craze.

The six mazes this year were honestly a disappointment, but we did find humor in one. Aspen was coming down a 45 degree gangplank. She walked it a number of times. One time, she and Oakley chose to come down it on their bottoms. Well, the first time, the sandpaper grip on the gangplank resulted in, you guessed it, wedgies for all. The second time was altogether different. For Oakley, red marks on the bottom. For Aspen, complete disintegration of the pants she was wearing!

Part 2 of the wedgy story. Aspen apparently was experiencing raised pantiness today. Her conclusion, "I have a fuji."

Names are obscured to protect the innocent

At the dinner table, eating strawberry shortcake. Present: Tim, Jenn, Aspen, Oakley, and the unborn baby in utero

Person 1: "Take your hand out of your bottom."

(laughter)

Person 1: "That's not funny."

(laughter)

Person 2: "I'm peeing all over myself!"

Tiny... Daddy

Oakley is starting to work on potty training, which is cool, but it's not the point of this entry.

Today, I'm trying to convey a cute portion of Oakley's speech.

Small

The World's Way: "There's a little baby." "That's a small coin."
Oakley's Way: "There's my tiny!" "Ooooh, tiny coin." As she squints, squishes her face, and puts her hands close together.

Big

The World's Way: "Hey, that's abig bus."
Oakley's Way: "Ooooh, it's a DADDY bus!"

Yes, to Oakley, there are only two options... "Tiny"-sized or "Daddy"-sized.